the pirate

damn. dan savage is one of those people who probably gets off telling kids there's no santa claus. still, i got a laugh...

i've tried the email address, but nothing in the last 20 minutes. i was hoping he would have set up some kind of filthy auto-responder. the suspense is terrible.

anyway:

Q. Have you heard about "the Pirate"? This is when you're getting a blowjob from a girl and as you come you ejaculate in her eye. Then you kick her in the shin. The result is the woman squinting an eye and hopping up and down on one foot, holding her leg and screaming, "Arrrgh!" How many people are into this? —JACK OFF WANGS

A. The Pirate. A Hot Karl. Donkey Punching. The Dirty Sanchez. Icy Mikes . . . Not a day goes by that I don't get at least one question about a sex act that exists only in the imaginations of adolescent boys. I assure you, JOW, that no one has ever attempted "the Pirate," just as no one has ever performed a Hot Karl, delivered a Donkey Punch, or inserted an Icy Mike. They're all fiction. To demonstrate how easily a disgusting, fictitious sex act can be invented and disseminated, I've made one up myself: "the Louisville Plugger." It's too disgusting to describe even here. If anyone out there would like to know what the Louisville Plugger involves, send an e-mail to plugger@savagelove.net. I will e-mail you a description—hell, I'll send you a diagram. Then we can all sit back and see how long it takes for the Louisville Plugger to start coming up in conversations in gay bars, frat houses, and letters to sex advice columnists.

urban dictionary is probably a good place for the unfamiliar.