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September 23, 2004
smoking and the bastard
so i went out for a smoke this morning, and no sooner had i lit up and begun to enjoy the rich, mellow flavor than some guy hits me up for a cigarette. i told him: "no". he asked again. i said: "no". (the cop interrogation technique is fast becoming a major theme in my life.) he asked one more time, so i showed him my pack: two left. and then i told him "no" again. then he asked if i'd just share my cigarette with him while i smoked it. hell no.
but he wouldn't leave. for the duration of my smoke break, he stood next to me telling me how his lungs were just burnin' for some smoke, that he used to sell discount cigarettes, so he's not bummin' as the community owes him, and so on. he kept this monologue up until i finished. as i was about to pitch the butt, he asserted that it was only right i should give it to him, as i was going to throw it out anyway. at that point, i relented. he needed that butt more than the gutter did.
wtf? doesn't do it justice, and must be spelled out: what the fuck?!
on a related note (and as a bit of confession), i just (re-)read tom robbins's jitterbug perfume. he's about as horribly preachy-hippy as i remember from reading him as a hippy at bible school, but i like this bit:
Me, I love the rich. Somebody has to love them. Sure, a lot o' rich people are assholes, but believe me, a lot o' poor people are assholes, too, and an asshole with money can at least pay for his own drinks.
a-men!
Posted by Dead Nancy at September 23, 2004 11:13 AM