WARD SIX: PLANS

i had one plan where i'd suffocate myself by wrapping my head, quickly, in saran wrap. the idea was i'd wrap and wrap and wrap until i'd applied enough plastic that removing it would take longer than my remaining air would allow. there were problems, though, when i actually tried it out (mock trial, not attempt; i figured if i practiced pieces of experimental designs, i'd be more prepared to do things properly on d-day.). i realized i'd never be able to get an impenetrable layer of saran wrap on me before the body's automatic self preservation system took over. i thought i might correct this with air-tite plastic wrapping followed by a layer of duct tape, but christ! i'd nearly need an assistant. next idea was to do the plastic then restrain my hands somehow, preventing me from clawing an air hole. but how? handcuffs would be effective, but would also need to be procured. and they cast a seedy auto-erotic michael hutchence element. too much narrative. tape failed again here. rope plus a slip knot is again just too much planning. i finally abandoned the idea entirely. the complexity would have been enough, but i was disturbed as well by the underlying sense of hostility involved.

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